how to unfunk yourself: an ongoing project (pt. 1)

Everyone gets a little funky sometimes. Funks, while not inherently bad, tend to be immensely unpleasant, and it's usually in everyone's best interest to move beyond them after an appropriate amount of time. So. Unfunk yourself at will.

• watch the sunrise.

• drink coffee. or tea. or really anything warm in your favorite mug.

• do a squat or two to remind yourself that your legs still work.

• buy a pair of cool socks. show everyone you know.

• listen to the birds. they might be cursing each other out, but it still sounds pretty.

• write shitty poetry. unlike the socks, no one has to know.

• go for a drive.

• find the stars again.

• pound several glasses of water. you’re probably dehydrated.

• cut your hair.

• find a new band.

• create something. anything. not dead people, though. not that.

• clean your room. start small.

• tell your dog/cat/lizard/fish/pet rock you love them. this is usually best accomplished through belly rubs and head pets.

• tell your friends and family you love them. probably in a different medium than the above.

• dress to the nines and go to target. let them stare.

• learn a new fun fact that you can whip out at parties.

• read “this is how.”

• clean up your inbox. how do you have 2,000+ unread emails?!

• make small hats for your succulents.

• weave a basket. it’s trendy (is it?) and cool (really?). at least then you’ll have a handmade basket. that’s pretty unique.

• gargle mouthwash until it burns all the germs/garbage out of your life.

• read a book.

• take a bath.

• read a book while taking a bath. sorry parkland community library, i definitely did not mean to drop the entire book into my bathtub that one time.

• highlight something. god, aren’t highlighters satisfying?

• memorize the “to be or not to be” soliloquy from hamlet. really feel it. mess around with original pronunciation.

• ask somebody how they’re doing. the trick here is to mean it.

• google cool dinosaurs. you liked that when you were little.

• when all else fails, look at this nice picture of my dog's butt.

#unfunking #advice #rhatips #lists